Tuesday, July 23, 2013

MONSTER

Unable to reach Monster's keepers and with another menacing black pitbull threatening behind the closed doors of the shaded house, I resorted to contacting the SPCA.  After explaining the situation, they agreed to send someone over immediately.

Lauren was a dogcatcher like no other.  Towering over me at 5'11" and the proud owner of perfect model measurements, blonde curls gathered seemingly effortlessly atop her head cascading as if Botticelli himself had placed them there as his artistic hand had those of his Venus, her melodic voice and pleasant demeanor left us all in complete awe with jaws to the floor.  She proceeded in calmly convincing Monster to follow her to the truck.  With the patience of a saint she allowed him to become familiar with her and the vehicle before even attempting to get him inside.  Monster was unhappy in spite of Lauren's genteel efforts, but he eventually complied.  What male of any species would not have followed her?

Once the K9 was securely stowed away, Lauren kindly made her way back to the garden in order to assist in the retrieval of our remaining two missing chickens.  Together we coaxed and cajoled Fluffy Foot and Clio from under the fence and the neighbor's overgrown juniper bushes.  Lauren eventually took to crawling under the fence, into the web of juniper branches and pushing the chickens my way.  She emerged with her coif embellished by various leaves and berries, looking intentionally tousled.

After nearly two hours, the coop was locked with all the residents safely inside.